I have learned to trust Adan. Yesterday I found him playing with my young hermanos. He looked genuinely happy. When I sat him down after dinner, I asked him why he had really come. He told me of all the bad el Jefe had done to him and his younger brother who had died a few years back. Adan told me that he only stayed loyal to save the rest of his family. A few of them had emigrated South, the only ones left are his madre y hermana. He showed me pictures of the two, and I recognized la chica from mi escuela. That is, when I still went to mis clases. La nombre de la chica es Victoria , she is muy bonita. I asked Adan if there was much to find South, he was sure that there was civilization that was much different from us, tamer, but very closed off. 
        We are open like coins in a pocket, there is nothing for anyone here. This is not the first time I have heard of people going South. The matter is, we never hear about them again. Adan tells me he must not be seen by the messengers that come back. And they will come back, he said. El jefe will want to meet with me also, about xseño, more forcefully this time. I was to give them twenty pills, and this I had ready. Adan says I must not give the messengers any pills. I asked Adan why it matters, I said that nothing can get any worse here. He nodded, but then he stood up, he said, “But with this power, with xseño, hope could return.” I have much to understand.