Three more boys from el Jefe’s gang have arrived. This is starting to get ridiculous. There are not even enough beds. Adan says we will build another room underground. News about el druga is everywhere, apparently my neighbors and el Jefe’s gang have leaked the truth that there is a magical drug out there that will change your world- and literally create a new one. This is partially true.

Adan has put restrictions on the drug, for example no one under age seventeen may have the drug. Adan and Osbaldo are the only ones that have tried the drug. They have told me about their worlds. Osbaldo talks about lights and music and how everyone in his world fly shiny machines around and zip through space with stars. Adan describes thick forests with animals and people who live in rafts on rivers. We only talk amongst ourselves. Adan has a strict system in order to keep track of the drugs, so that none of the younger ones are tempted. I doubt they would be able to handle xseño anyways. It’s a strong feeling before you fall asleep and if you are not ready for it your system will boot it up.
What Adan is telling me is that the drug allows people to better create another life in their head, changing the way they look at this world. He tells me that when people get ahold of the drug they are better here, but if the drug gets into the wrong hands it will be sold only to a few- and the bad few. The drug can change this world, he tells me. But I do not understand how. We are forming an army, he says, to defend the drug and to save this world. I’m not sure I wanted this, I’m not sure what is happening and I’m not sure it even matters anymore.

Below is the process of how xseño is made: